You're Under Arrest, You Vile Criminal!
by ilfreitas
Summary: Remus was reading in his living room/bedroom/kitchen when two Aurors walked in and arrested him after he said he didn't have tea. What's goign on?  SiriusxRemus fluffly One-shot


**Disclaimer:**** Remus married Tonks in the books. So obviously the books are not mine.**

AN: VOTE ON MY GAME _Pairings You Never Thought Of_ Oh, and on my poll! :D

**You're Under Arrest, You Vile Criminal!**

Remus sat quietly in his flat reading a book.

He was resting before the next day's job interview.

In which he was pretty sure it involved a lot of physical exercises.

Like running away from the interviewer when he finds out he was a werewolf.

But that was life for you. Sorry, that was life for Remus. After running away from twenty five interviewers he was a bit used to it. So it was not that much of a problem.

Except that he was about to lose his flat. His really small flat. With three divisions. But it was _his_ flat. Well, not for long.

What he didn't know was that he was going to have guest for the first and last time that day.

But he did when someone knocked on his door.

"Wait a second!" he closed the book, walked to the door and opened enough to see who was outside.

"James?"

"Remus. Can you let us in?"

Remus opened worried. His friend hadn't even smiled.

"Sure, come in." he opened the door.

James and Frank Longbotton came in.

"I think you've never been here before." He was sure "So, this is my living room, bedroom and kitchen." Yes, it was all the same room. "There is the bathroom" he pointed to a door "and there's where I…you know."

_Transform._

"I see." James tried not to show his shock.

"But I'm leaving in a few days." If he couldn't pay the rent in two days.

"Where?" James asked, clearly hoping it was a better place.

"I'm not sure."

"… I thought you had a good job, Remus, enough to buy a better place." Frank said, always the honest and blunt "Why didn't you go for Auror like the rest of us? We all know you'd be good at it."

"I would never make it in." Remus smiled. He wasn't lying, werewolves couldn't be Aurors. "But enough of that, why are you here? I don't want to be rude, I would even offer tea if I had, but it's the first time you come here."

"Alright, let's get straight to business." Frank said.

"Remus Lupin, you're under arrest." James said, tying his hands being his backs with a robe.

"Wha-what?" Remus tried to remove his arms "What kind of joke is this, James?" he laughed "Oh, you got me there for a moment. Can you untie me now?"

"This isn't a joke, Remus."

"Okay, I'll bite. What was the crime?"

"You were accused of robbery." Frank said "And we have proofs against you."

Remus looked concerned. Frank was always honest. Always. He never lied.

"But I didn't steal anything. Who accused me of that?"

"I did." Sirius walked into his flat (they had left the door open).

"Sirius?" Remus asked. He thought a little "If you're talking about that blanket, you lent it to me on the other day. Sorry if I didn't give it back, but I don't have one and I haven't seen you since then. But there's no need to do this! Is on the couch, you can pick it."

"Thank you." Sirius walked to the couch and grabbed it "….Are you sleeping on the couch?"

"…No?" it came out as a question "Now that you have the blanket can you guys untie me?"

"This wasn't what you steal, you thief!" Sirius pointed at him.

"Then what was it?"

"My heart."

"What?"

"Don't deny it, you vile criminal!" Sirius yelled.

"And you have proofs?" Remus asked in disbelief.

"Yes! Me and James-"

"James and I." corrected automatically Remus.

"-are the main witness."

"How do you know I stole your heart?"

"Ah-ah! Is that a confession?"

"No! I'll rephrase. Why do you think it was me, Sirius?"

"Because. I'm always thinking of you. And I can't date. And when you laugh or look at me I get this funny feeling in my belly."

"And when he masturbates he comes saying your name." James added.

"James!" Sirius and Remus blushed.

"How do you know _that_?" Frank asked.

"You don't want to know. And he stares at you. Especially when you were asleep back at Hogwarts. He hopes to get you drunk so he can grope you with excuses." James continued.

"I like the way the sun lights your hair. And your eyes are the most amazing thing I ever saw. Except for your ass."

"…" Remus was feeling really hot.

"We didn't need to know that."

"I didn't need to know about who Sirius thinks while masturbating, James." Frank smirked.

"Right."

"So you're in love with me." Remus said looking at Sirius, in awe.

"You stole my heart."

"Well, then I think it's only fair that I did. I had to take something back after you stole mine, right? In an eye for an eye kind of way?"

"Yes, it does seem fair." Sirius agreed with a grin.

"Could you drop the charges then? The Ministry isn't very good to my kind. I don't think I would even make it to Azkaban."

"Your kind?" Frank frowned.

"You don't want to know." James repeated. "Sirius, you're dropping the charges?"

"Yes."

"Alright. But as a previous suspect of burger I think it's for the best if Remus stays supervised."

"Say no more. Moony, you're going with me. After we discuss some matters in your couch." He said with a predator look and walked to Remus.

"I think we're not needed here anymore." Frank said.

"Let's tell Lily and Alice we made it." James and Frank left the flat. James closed the door behind him with a wink.

With a smirk Sirius grabbed Remus by his shoulders and kissed him.

"Now you stole my saliva. Won't you ever stop?"

"I'm going to take a lot more than that." Sirius grinned and laid Remus on the couch, going on top of him and kissing him again.

"Padfoot?"

"Moony?"

"I'm still tied."

"Oh, I know."

And from that moment forward, Remus went to live with Sirius in his apartment, where they stole a lot of things from each other until the rest of their days.

Oh, and Remus kept being chased by store owners and job interviewers.

OoooooooooooooO

**Does anyone knows who is the _Sirius Black II _on the Characters list? Is he Sirius and _Sirius Black _is his grand-grandfather?**


End file.
